Let’s get real. Just because I take medications and seem to be in control of my life, I still break down. I still have anxiety attacks. I still feel the depression from time to time. I still cry in the shower. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows- and you don’t have to pretend it is.

Since quarantine has started I’ve felt the anxiety just like everyone else. Most of us are patiently waiting for the stay at home orders to be lifted or shops to start opening up. Some of us haven’t been to the store near as often as before. And others have been living life like normal. But everyone is feeling the anxiety. That should be comforting, right?

I’m here to tell you it’s not. From someone who has struggled with anxiety + depression for years, I totally get how everyone feels. Heck, I feel it for them. But the things is, I have been struggling for years. My anxiety, though some is coming from the reality of today, is not all about the virus. Hearing that everyone is feeling that way is in no way helpful. If anything, it adds to my stress.

I’m an empathizer. I will pick up on any and almost every emotion around me; friends and family could vouch for me here. Knowing that there are families, nurses, doctors, humans struggling is anxiety inducing. I think we all should look after each other during this time, but know there are people who were struggling before who could have used a little looking after.

People now have their own experience with struggling whether it be financially, physically, or mentally. I understand “we’re all in this together”, but don’t take away from those who are still coping with past struggles.

Know you aren’t selfish for feeling those feelings. Know that you can feel those feelings. Know you aren’t alone.

Day by day we’ll get through this. Once this pandemic is over most people will return to normal. Us with anxiety will return to our normal anxieties. For now, I’ll cry a little extra in the shower.