I’ve been a part of several teams growing up. I was a dancer and did gymnastics. I sort of played soccer. I played volleyball and softball. I was on many basketball teams. My friend group in high school was my team. My family was my team. Never did I think that I would find a new team in college, full of girls who are just like me in their own ways.

Oh, did I mention that it’s a cheer team?

From junior year of high school I have longed to be a cheerleader. I never had the opportunity given that I was a basketball player. I thought maybe since I didn’t play basketball senior year that I could cheer. Turns out, I was too late to try out; I joined the powerlifting team instead. I gave up on the dream because high school was coming to an end and that was the end of my athletic opportunities. The tables really turned on me.

USM’s Cheer and Dance coach gave me the opportunity to cheer after I had been to a practice in December 2018 with Mallory. The girls that were on the team then were so welcoming of someone who had absolutely no cheer experience. I was shocked considering the only thing I knew about cheerleaders were the stereotypes. I knew, even after that first practice, that I’d be cheering at a school I had already planned on going to. I was so so so happy. So, big thanks to Mallory for getting my foot in McGilley Fieldhouse.

Once the season started in mid-August, I was a nervous wreck. I wasn’t sure what I had gotten myself into. I don’t know how to dance or lift humans. I was seriously regretting my decision of signing. But that’s when I met my first cheer friend, Natalie. She was so positive and so ready to take on the season. I am so thankful that she took me under her wing to teach me a few skills.

Our season started off in Colorado at UCA camp. Colorado is easily one of my favorite places to be now, so I was excited. I had two girls who already had cheered at USM in my room; Janaaya and Erin. Little did I know that they would be two of my forever friends, two people I can lean on. Janaaya and Erin, you two are so loved!

I remember at that same camp I was learning how to base an extension. It seems so silly now to say that, but for me it was really difficult. Gabi saved me numerous times by stepping in my spot when I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. She has the sweetest soul and is so worth getting to know outside of cheer.

Coming back from UCA camp, I felt a little less nervous yet more defeated. I wasn’t nervous about being around the girls, but more so nervous about not being able to do the skills everyone else could. It was in the midst of my nervousness that my grandma called me. She was over the top excited that some of her friends had a niece who danced at USM. Audrey, the girl she was referring to also got this same information from her aunt and uncle. I remember laughing so hard with her about how excited they were. My grandma kept telling me how sweet of a girl she is, and I totally agree!

Once football games had started I felt a little more okay with my situation. I started to get to know some of the girls a little better. We had practice time and sideline time to get to know each other. Katelyn was my favorite girls to stand by during games. We were always making each other laugh with weird jokes and and even weirder dance moves.

After football and at the start of basketball, I could feel the tension rise. There wasn’t tension between teammates, but rather, tension during practice. It was time to really start getting ready for nationals. Our routine was coming together and base groups were stunting. All was well.

Then, Alexandra broke her hand. I felt terrible for her because her love for cheer really shines through. It’s hard to be positive every day, but she tried. She was one of few people who I knew had a genuine passion for the sport.

Though Alexandra didn’t get to base with me, or at all during nationals, I did get a new stunt group. I felt like the practices leading up to nationals I was the best version of cheerleader Mackenzie there was. I was no longer “new” to this. I felt like I knew what I was doing for the first time. But because I wasn’t the new person doesn’t mean there wasn’t somebody new.

Zachariah joined our team about a month until nationals. Props to him for joining such a quirky team full of girls…and just two boys at the time. Nick and Will were the only two boys before Zachariah. Nick was also new to the cheer aspect of cheer, as he was the mascot before. Watching him and Ashlynne develop as a team was so cool! Will reminds me so much of the person I strive to be. He tries his best love and support everyone. He gives his time and energy to those he truly cares for.

Being the new person who never cheered before was uncomfortable at times. Except Meredith, who had also never cheered before and now Zachariah knew how that felt. I wasn’t alone! Meredith could only cheer up until nationals was over due to another sport, but she was there when she could be. It was awesome to see her and a few other teammates balance their two sports.

After what felt like years, we were finally in Florida. I was in a room with Mallory and across from us was our team manager, Gabbi, and Molly, a dancer. Gabbi was crucial this year; I learned in previous years there was never anyone to record at each and every practice. Gabbi was a huge help by doing so! I was glad that Molly was across from me because she has motherly instincts. My mom always knows when something is off; same with Molly. She helped me to stay, for the most part, anxiety free in Florida.

The times I wasn’t anxiety free, I had a group of six of the most solid individuals to lean on. Janaaya and Erin, Carissa, Ariel, Will and Brajai. One night, we all sat in a room together and spilled our lives. I felt so safe, so welcomed, and so loved. Erin is my favorite motivational person- she never fails to make me smile. Janaaya is me in an alternate universe. With extremely different background, somehow we connect and understand each other. Carissa is one of my humans. She is someone I know that, even in Oregon, will be right there for me. She had the kindest, most patient heart with me. Ariel is such a pure individual that does her best to comfort everyone. Without even knowing what I needed during an anxiety attack, she was there and just knew. Brajai is another person who has motherly-like qualities. She doesn’t question or test someone when they’re upset. Instead, it’s like you know she’s there if you need her.

We didn’t place how we wanted to in Florida, but we still stuck together and had as good of a time as possible while in Florida. I am so grateful to have an amazing family who traveled there to watch me cheer! I got to spend two days with them in Disney and had a blast.

After coming back from Florida, it was go time again. We had to come up with a routine to perform at our conference championship. From the time we got back to February 21, we had less than a month to prepare. Knowing our team, I knew that somehow, some way we would get this done.

Between preparing for conference and having a late start to our second semester, we worked a fundraiser to help pay for nationals. There, I got to work the warmup area and watch all kinds of teams practice. But as always, I got hungry about halfway through. So, Will, Anna, and I made a quick trip to Chipotle. When we got back I ate with Anna- someone I never thought would want to be friends with me. We went to high school’s in the same league and somehow through that I figured she didn’t like me. That was silly. We got to talk about all kinds of things, including living with anxiety and depression. I am so happy I gained her as a friend because she is such a fun and genuine girl.

Anyways, back to conference. Since the dance team now competes in the cheer section with us, they each had to learn some new skills. Makayla, Reagan, and Alax are midding, flying, and flying baskets. They are so brave for agreeing to this. I know what it feels like to be new and afraid of something, but they didn’t show it.

Ashley, our trainer, also played a big role in helping to pull together our routine. Being a former cheerleader, she knows what she’s talking about and is so helpful at practice outside of just doing her job.

Like I knew we would, we have a routine to perform at conference. Today was our last practice being able to perform it full it- and our last practice of the season. I didn’t think that at this point in the season I would be making any new best friends, but Thalia and Kadilynn are it. I asked them about their rooming situation for next year and said I’d be their third roommate. They were over the moon and I haven’t felt so welcomed by friends since Florida! They complete each other and I can’t wait to be a part of that friendship.

I finally got to live my dream. All of this wouldn’t be possible without my coach, Banen. I haven’t been able to say that my coach was a friend since…forever. Yeah, Banen is a great coach and knows what she’s talking about it, but she’s an even better human. She has a burning passion for cheer and loves each of her cheerleaders like no other. I have spent afternoons crying in her office knowing it was safe. She is a great coach because she’s a great human.

So, yeah, I did that.